It’s Black Friday, and I can tell you what I’m not doing: leaving my house. I don’t go to malls or Costco on a quiet day. Mama didn’t raise no fool. The dogs are out back digging holes in the snow and eating their poop and whatever else it is they do outside. I hope… Continue reading In Which Kanga Goes Into Hibernation on Black Friday
I think I have now figured out the real reasons why parents don’t want their child(ren) to play outdoors unsupervised. In addition to being spared the rod when naughty, children must also be spared the deep, painful, impossible to scratch itch that manifests in the layers of skin separating a broken bone from the exterior… Continue reading Welcome To The Playborhood
I’ve got a wild hair today. I don’t know who or what originally decided that Hallowe’en shouldn’t be observed as anything other than Orange and Black Day, but now it has a new name: Character Day. What in the name of Jack Skellington is a Character Day, and why has it supplanted Hallowe’en in the… Continue reading Who Killed Hallowe’en?
When the unfamiliar number popped up on my call display just before noon, something about the exchange made me think it would be wise not to let it go straight to voicemail. Good instinct there, Mum. It was the admin assistant from my daughter’s school, letting me know there had been an accident in gym… Continue reading On The Seventh Day Of School, There’s No Sabbath For This Mom
Thanks to Brandi Kennedy, I now have a new phrase in my vocabulary: Underbutt. I am so behind the times, it turns out this was a thing back in 2009. Thank you, Urban Dictionary. Not that I wasn’t ever even a little bit concerned, with my daughter starting high school tomorrow, what her taste in… Continue reading Dear World, Please Stop Dressing My Teenage Daughter
There is a recent article on Slate.com colloquially titled “A Lot of Mothers Regret the Names They Gave Their Children, According to a New Survey.” Normally, I’d skip that kind of bla-bla-SEO-whatever headline, but the featured Getty image of Princess Charlotte and her newborn cheeks lured me in faster than a rabbit happening upon a… Continue reading What Not To Name The Baby
Brock Turner was released from jail today. He served three months of a six-month sentence for raping an unconscious young woman at a college party. As most everyone in the galactic Milky Way knows, he was a swimmer. Not just any swimmer. A former potential Olympic athlete who says that he wasn’t looking for anything but a hook-up. Guess… Continue reading Brock Turner Was Released From Jail Today