Dear World, Please Stop Dressing My Teenage Daughter

Thanks to Brandi Kennedy, I now have a new phrase in my vocabulary:  Underbutt.

I am so behind the times, it turns out this was a thing back in 2009. Thank you, Urban Dictionary.

Not that I wasn’t ever even a little bit concerned, with my daughter starting high school tomorrow, what her taste in clothing, and her underbutt, might prompt from the front office.

She is a young woman with curves. She’s also at that age where she doesn’t get that she is knockout gorgeous, and hides behind pop-punk band t-shirts and distressed skinny jeans. Sometimes the jeans are replaced with leggings or yoga pants, because that’s what she’s comfortable in. Hot Topic is her home away from home. I may as well have a direct pipeline from my debit card to their corporate headquarters.

My oldest kid graduated from the same high school in 2015, and the other day, when the topic of the school dress code came up, he was quick to share this:

No boobs, no butts, no bellies.

In principle, I agree. What concerns me is the wide ranging interpretation of what constitutes overexposure of the three B’s in the first place, and the implications for all girls, regardless of their cultural background and style of dress.

My daughter is self conscious as it is, being able to only wear clothing in a women’s size. I shouldn’t even have to point out that she’s nowhere near obese and I wish the whole concept of the Body Mass Index (BMI) would die in a hole, especially for tween and teenage girls who already have hypersexualization and unrealistic expectations of beauty to contend with. I almost want to follow her to school and be all


But I can’t, and I shouldn’t have to.

What I am hopeful for is school leadership that will take the time to let the students know that ogling, grabbing, and verbally harassing their peers because of their clothing choices is not acceptable. Brandi Kennedy put it best: Stop over-sexing my kid. Stop looking at her as a pleasure object to be used and disposed of at will. Stop looking at her as a HOLE, and start looking at her as a WHOLE.

Are we clear, world? Just say yes.

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