Dear Jennifer Cramblett:
Your daughter needs better parents.
Suing the fertility clinic once for their mistake in shipping the wrong vial of sperm to help conceive your biracial child was unsurprising. Land of the free, home of the brave, designer kids for the mightily privileged.
As the mother of a disabled boy, I find your motives to be equally disturbing considering that you are using legislation intended for children with genuine birth injury to make your case. I feel very sorry for your little girl. Being Black is not injurious, and shame on you for trying to manipulate the legal system to coddle that notion.
That you feel it is traumatic to go into a Black neighbourhood so that your daughter can get a decent hair cut is the hallmark of your racism. Your whiteness stands out in the Black neighbourhood because your attitude arrives fifteen minutes before you do. It’s not up to the fertility clinic – from which you have already received an apology and the refund of your fees – to relocate your family from a small minded town in Ohio. If you really feel that you need to move, get on your boots and do your own packing.
I would like to know how winning a lawsuit is going to make your daughter un-Black. You are reportedly “determined to see that no other family suffers the struggle of parenting an unexpected non-white baby.” Honestly, if your child’s biracialness is the worst thing that ever happens to you and your partner… all I want to do is roll up your privilege and pop you over the head with it.
As I said previously, I have a disabled child, the younger of twins. His congenital heart defects should have been detected in-utero, but they weren’t. The CHD was caused by a chromosomal genetic condition that could have been caught in-utero, but it wasn’t. What he has – DiGeorge Syndrome – isn’t one of the conditions that are covered by basic prenatal testing. Hospital error on either count? Maybe. Suing isn’t going to make my child healthy and whole. It won’t make me healthy and whole for having developed PTSD because of everything that happened during my son’s first 18 months of life.
What, then, is to be done?
We pick up the toys. We change diapers, do loads of laundry, and prepare meals. And we muddle through as best we can. If we can’t and the situation is absolutely unmanageable and untenable, then there is a valid, widely available legal mechanism: the adoption process.
If your motives for relaunching your lawsuit were more altruistic than defiantly self-serving, I’d agree that your actions are necessary. However, nothing about any of this passes my sniff test.
You have a beautiful daughter. Celebrate her for who she is, not who she isn’t and can never be.